el primer fin de semana

okay so it's been awhile but holy crap so much has happened. i think i'm going to be able to update more now that i'm out of the hostel and in school, but the crappy thing is that my señora's house doesn't have internet. :( so i will only be able to be online when i'm at school.

let's see! so the first two days i was at the hostel which wasn't the best experience but just because the room was smaller than my bathroom at home and it housed 4 girls, so. it was clean and convenient and that's pretty much it. hahaha. i'm mostly used to the metro by now (or, i understand it, at least), but getting used to where everything is is going to take awhile.




OKAYOKAY SO. on saturday i went to the bernabéu. um. i got off the metro and walked up the stairs and as soon as you turn to walk onto the street it's just right there in front of you. i just kind of stood there like an idiot and stared at it and kind of. wrapped my head around it? or tried to. i don't even know how to talk about it without going blank. the weird thing is the way i reacted while i was there. i expected to be overwhelmed (i was), i expected to cry (i did), i expected to freak out, but i didn't. i bought my tour of the bernabéu ticket and went in and the first thing you do is look down at the pitch from the seats up high and god it was just. the day was perfect, the weather was perfect, the sun was out but it was a little breezy and everything just felt so... sacred. and quiet. and reverent. even though there were tons of people there and even though it was the bernabéu, this place that is loved by so many, that is known by so many more, it felt very intimate and serene. i just stood there and stared down at that pitch and i felt... infused. it was like pieces locking together. it was like i was truly home. and i mean that. all my worrying and fretting and overthinking and self-consciousness and just... desperation for so much and so many things just stopped right then, because i was there. i have never felt that precise feeling before. people walked on after a few minutes to the next stop of the tour, but i couldn't. i couldn't look away. it feels like a palace, or a church. a temple. i'm not a religious person at all, but i have been (or tried to be), so i know that sense of euphoria. but that stadium is my temple. no matter what else happens, it was all worth it for that moment.

i went through the tour inside, looking at all of the memorabilia, all of the shirts and the videos and the match balls and the trophies (jesus christ, the trophies), just so many moments that make up this club. and it's hard for me to share real madrid. it's hard for me to accept that other people know who they are, that other people love the club as much as i do. but they were there. i mean, some were tourists who just knew it was an attraction, but some were madridistas. you could tell. the way they looked at the trophies, the tone they used when they told their kids what this or that meant. it was so amazing. i stood next to a man looking at the nine champions league trophies and his eyes were just so softly proud. you know? and when i met people's eyes, there was an understanding there. it may sound silly to people who don't watch football, or who don't love real madrid, but it's the most incredible feeling. and i still attest that loving real madrid is unlike loving any other club in the world. there is just nothing like it. we're the best club in the history of football. and i'll say it again (and again and again): form is temporary, class is permanent.

ah god.

so long story short(ha), i finished the tour and went to the store and i didn't buy ANYTHING. (what?!) i looked around but i didn't get anything. because i'm gonna go back and do the tour again. i was there for almost 3 1/2 hours, and i didn't linger nearly as long as i wanted to or as long as i could have. i went to a bar in the bernabéu and had a cerveza and looked out over the pitch and ahhgod.

okay this is silly but i have to talk about it. you know those little things that float through the air from dandelions (i think?), those little white fluffy things? and if you catch one you hold it behind your back and make a wish and let it go, and as long as you don't see where it goes, your wish will come true? well i've always done that and i call them "wishies" (i have forever, i have no idea why!), and the bernabéu is filled with them. they're floating all around it and inside of it. i just kept seeing them the entire time, and i couldn't help but think it was purposeful, a sign or something. everything just came together.

after that, i met up with rey and her friend leah and we watched the valencia-espanyol game (yaaaaay) and the barcelona-villarreal game (ahhhhhhhhhhhh) at a bar near their apartment. after that, i went back to the hostel and two of the girls i was sharing a room with had to leave at 5.30a and so they were up PACKING for an insanely long amount of time, so i got about 4 hours of sleep saturday night haha. i got up early and got all my stuff together and dragged my huge suitcase to the metro (up and down flights and flights and flights of stairs) across town to the pueblo nuevo stop to meet up with my señora sunday morning. i got there with only a tiny bit of difficulty and oh man. hahahaha

her name is flor and she's 77 and she has a fuzzy little yippity dog (oh yay) named figo (!!!). and she speaks no english. at. all. hahahahaha sigh. we sat and talked for awhile, and she told me that her husband died many years ago and that she has two sons and four grandchildren and that she's from a few hours north of madrid, but she moved here about 30 years ago (around the time franco died hm). i was meeting rey and leah and michele at dubliners in sol to watch the liverpool-chelsea game (:c), and so i had to hurry and unpack and get ready. she kept trying to make me eat even though i told her i wasn't hungry but she insisted that i eat some paella and so i told her i'd eat a little. i go into la sala and there is a HUGE plate of paella and a salad and bread and tea and i was like ihavetoleave!! but i ate as much as i could. and i was trying to tell her that i wanted juice for breakfast and not tea or coffee but i couldn't think of the word for juice (i know, i know, it's zumo, i'm gonna remember that forever now), so i just said "naranja" and so she gave me an orange to take to the game with me. hahahahaha. AND SHE GAVE ME AN ORANGE THIS MORNING. she's adorable.

okay so skip ahead to the real madrid game. um. it's quite a surreal feeling. you know? because it all seems so familiar because you know the pitch, you know the boys, you know the songs, the rituals, everything, but it's... so immediate and right there in front of you suddenly. it doesn't seem real at all. and it felt like we waited and waited and then all of a sudden the game was starting. sergio and iker did their little pre-match kiss in front of me and iker was just. RIGHT THERE. and lakjsdflakjfla and all of a sudden the game was starting. it's so weird watching a game live! there is no commentary and there's no camera to follow the action and everything happens so quickly. i don't wanna give a play-by-play of the game because more than likely a lot of you saw it, but i have to say that it was so scary to watch. that first osasuna goal took everyone by surprise and albiol was so upset with himself for his mistake. iker was so adorable in his box during the game. he has the hardest position to play because he's so uninvolved with so much of the game. he just has to sit back and watch it all unfold and he can't help at all. he looks so helpless at times, so desperate. he's so amazing to watch in action and he made some fantastic saves during the game. cris was incredible (of course), so, so incredible and so powerful and god those goals. i'm so glad he's on my team. he helps out all over the whole pitch and he does so much. i'd honestly rather have him than messi any day.

gago made some really good tackles and xabi helped out in defense so much and ahhgod. sergio ramos. when you watch a game on tv, you can never seen all that a player is doing off the ball. sergio commands the backline. and while we had a really shaky game defensively, he was immense. immense. he was everywhere and he is so strong and so fast and his presence is incredible. and i may be extremely biased, but he was just... ah. what a game he had. you can feel his presence as a captain. and he's somehow even more extraordinarily beautiful in person. he's so tall and solid and fit (fitfitfitfit) and michele and i would just flutter everytime he got close. and he and iker have such an amazing connection on the pitch. they had little conversations the entire game, little weird hand motions and god those two! my boys. :)

guti warmed up in front of us and hahahahaohmygod. there was a guy in our section that was like "GUTIIIIIIIII. GUTIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII. ES A GUTIIIIIIIII OE. ES A GUTIIIIIIIIIIIIII OE." hahahahahahaha. and guti just flounced by and warmed up (well. he stretched while watching the game) and he was SO DISTRACTING because god he's so lovely. and karim and diarra were warming up too and ohmyGOD. the osasuna keeper was taking forEVER to do goal kicks and the entire stadium was baying for his blood by the end and diarra was SCREAMING at the ref everytime the keeper had the ball. he was so into the game and so upset until the very end. i love him so much. :(

and juanfran was AMAZING. he was just explosive and very impressive and was a good burst of energy when we needed it. god, when it was getting close to 90 minutes there was so much tension in the air but the bernabéu was so alive. every single time we re-gained possession and started up the pitch, the entire stadium would spring to life, singing and clapping and cheering them on. they pushed them to that win, i know they did. people who say the bernabéu is more of a theatre than a stadium (what nando seriously haha) are so dead wrong. there were some fans that left before the final whistle and therefore missed that PERFECT goal (they deserved to miss it, putas), but most everyone was behind them the entire time.

god that last goal. the place just exploded. sergio attacked cris and they all fell to the ground and i just kept thinking "god, this is one of those moments. this is one of those clips you see on youtube, this is a moment that there are pictures of for years to come, this is a moment that you see and think 'god i wish i had seen that,' and i did. it happened right there in front of me. sergio was throwing his arms up, telling the fans to get up and cheer and god we were. :) and when the final whistle blew, sergio threw the ball in the air and everyone just. ahhhhhhhh. i cannot believe we won. i have no idea how we won. it was one of those things that seemed impossible but i just had absolute faith that we'd do it. somehow. and we did. the elation of everyone after the game is something i will never forget. everyone was so blindly happy. i just could not stop smiling. oh, it was just so perfect. beyond perfect.

anyway. :) so i started class this morning and we took a tour of the city. we walked from la escuela to the plaza de españa and then to palacio real and to plaza mayor and to sol and gran vía and then back again. the only thing i'd seen before was sol, so i was so glad we did it (even though it is FREEZING today and so insanely windy and i'm definitely getting a cold as a result haha). we came back to the school and got assigned our classes based on the small exam we took, and my classes are in the afternoon from 3-7. :( it's good because i get to sleep in, but it sucks because of midweek games and just... having to anticipate going to class everyday. i'm just whining but still! :( haha anyway.

i'm sitting in the computer room at the school at the moment and not exactly in a hurry to get back out into the cold. i don't know what i want to do today, but i needneeeed to get a metro pass today. i'm also thinking about going to cibeles. i'm not sure! i really just want to go to the bernabéu again and bask. i'm expected home at 8 for dinner, so i don't know. i just bought my ticket for the bilbao game (€130 ahhh dios mio) and we're gonna go to el corazón classic match because how can you not pay €10 to see zidane and maldini? ohmygod.

vale! this is long enough. pictures are forthcoming, maybe tomorrow. it's too much to deal with right now. i'm sorry about the length of this entry but i will have you know that i left out a lot! :)

<3

all the love in the world. ♥